How I kept Losing myself to finally gaining myself back and keeping it that way

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I’m sure a lot of people can relate…

In out through my life, I have lost myself, and gained myself back again. Meaning, I have gave up so many times, then i started to be myself again but better.

I definitely didn’t know why, but i do know a lot of millennials, mid 20’s, and late 20’s, go through different changes. Which i can say that can be part of my transition because i am 28.

A lot of women go through a lot of ” Hormonal imbalances”. Which can affect us mentally, and we begin to have mood swings, and so much more. don’t want to get to personal about it. but my point is that, as a woman we go through so many changes, have to deal with so many personal things, and it’s stressful. BEYOND IT.

Dealing with mental health growing up, really had me losing myself. Not loving myself, not caring for myself, and just putting others before me. People use to ask me, “Why are you looking so angry?” and, i was definitely was intrigued by that question, because i didn’t know why people always ask that and i was always curious why. But i figured it out, I had an automatic mean mug smh….

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People said i never had a smile on myself, I always looked angry. And that isn’t good at all. I really started to realize that all around i am wasn’t happy, because people are actually seeing it in my facial expressions. But, truth be told, I didn’t mind it after a while. I was still angry.

I was disappointed within myself. One of the reasons why is because I didn’t graduate on time, not because i didn’t know the work, I just was so stuck into my feelings that i didn’t even knock out 15 credits. Don’t judge me, yes only 15 CREDITS!. That’s all i needed, and I let my pride get the best of me. So, I went to go finish, and I thought i was happy about it and i still wasn’t. I had a kid, and felt that i was to old, and I waited to long to go back. It’s sad that i was ungrateful instead of blessed. Close people around whispered, judged me, and talked about me behind my back because i didn’t graduate on time. And it’s the truth. I knew it, and yes it hurts badly. But, people knew deep down i had an gift, and that behind that angry face it’s a Smart Black Woman. I think people were intimidated by my strong attitude, and no matter how i feel about myself, I was always independent and knew what i was talking about. But i believe people mistaken me to be dumb, because of the “missing 15 credits.” People used that as a weapon against me. So when i decided to go back in finish i did it silently for my own happiness. I knew that this school issue was really one of my weaknesses and one of the reasons why i am not happy.

Dealing with the TOXIC. Toxic played a big part in my life. Arguing with family members, arguing & fighting with my significant other, down talking myself. All that is consider toxic. Not only that it’s toxic, It’s stressful. On top of that, I still was not happy. My level of happiness was up and down.

As I got older, I have realized that i was surrounded around people i shouldn’t surround myself with. I was dealing with people i had no business dealing with. People who do not support you, or want to see you win, is a red flag to NO GOOD! No i am not innocent but growing up remember when your parents always say “Two wrongs don’t make it right!” It’s the truth!

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It takes time to be the best version of yourself, so don’t give up fighting for your confidence. You are beautiful…..”

 

It’s hard to change being around a lot of people who is just like you but worst. And every time you want to change you are dealing with other people negativity, or it’s rubbing off on you. Sometimes you have to stop prolonging these relationships with friends & families or even with your partner, if it’s not bringing any happiness to your life.

I had to realize that life isn’t always suppose to be peaches & cream. At any moment in life you can lose everything, but how will you react to it? Continuously act out on everyone or be strong and move forward. Failure is not an option because it will happen, but you have to understand that.

I started to have insecurities. But that is something i kept to myself for a while. I never showed it, and felt no reason to. It wasn’t that I was insecure in my looks necessarily, but everything else about me I was disappointed in. Instead of complimenting myself I rather compliment others and make them feel good, I really don’t know why, but seeing other people happy always made me feel better. And I been that way for a while until I came to a realization that I need to focus on self-care & self-love. I had to stop loving others more then I loved myself.

When I finally found myself, and figured out who I am and what I want in life I went for it. I decided I wanted to become a blogger & entrepreneur and guess what? I made it happen. I might have ups & downs and things might not made it to where I want it to you, but it’s the principle that I am striving to be the best that I can be and reach my top goal.

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Even though I admit all the time, I LOST MYSELF. But, it’s always time to gain your self again. It’s okay if you fell off a little, but pick up where you left and keep going. Can’t no one interfere what you got going on, only if you let them, SO DON’T!

Moral of the story is, I made this blog to uplift and motivate others that you can go through the hardest time in your life and it’s okay. But, don’t let that become an habit. Just get up and work on you, better you, love you, support you, and keep being determined to achieve your goals. Use your past as a way out the hold on on your way to success.

YOU GOT THIS!!!!

 

 

SIXTEEN PAGES……

 

 

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Self-Love Writing Prompts

Self-love is well-being & happiness. Loving yourself doesn’t mean to be selfish, It is nourishing yourself and taking care of your emotional and spiritual needs. Self-love also is to be honest with yourself, how you feel about yourself, and taking care of yourself. Don’t have standards to high but also don’t have standards to low, and to not treat & talk to your self in a negative way. Journaling is an great way to start your self-love journey. It is often much easier to be completely honest when you are the only one who will see it.

Journaling is an helpful way to start your self-love journey. It is often much easier to be completely honest when you are the only one who will see it and look at it as motivation or life changing. Here is a list of 31 Self-love writing prompts, to get you started.

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  1. How would you feel if you truly loved and accepted yourself?
  2. What is your biggest achievement?
  3. What do you love about yourself?
  4. How would you feel if you truly loved and accepted yourself?
  5. How can you start de-cluttering your life?
  6. Describe a time when you sabotaged a good situation for yourself. Explore why you did that
  7. What friendship that you’ve had was the most meaningful?
  8. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be and why?
  9. If I could be friends with anyone in the world I would like to be friends with____ because
  10. 5 things I feel thankful for are __________
  11. If I didn’t have any fear I would ________________
  12. 10 ways i deal with my emotions________________
  13. How can you set better boundaries in your life?
  14. What do you need to forgive yourself for?
  15. What’s one change in your life that you can make for more happiness?
  16. Describe your favorite childhood memory
  17. List 5 different things that make you happy
  18. Write yourself a thank you letter
  19. How do i feel at this moment and why?
  20. Write what you love about yourself
  21. List 6 things you are good at
  22. Write yourself 5 compliments
  23. What does my dream tomorrow look like?
  24. What area of your life do you need help with? Are you able to ask for help?
  25. Do you need to show yourself more compassion?
  26. What one change could you make today which would make you happy?
  27. What brings you peace?
  28. What do you believe you deserve in life? Why do you believe this?
  29. Do you have a thought about yourself that you should let go of but can’t
  30. Do you treat yourself? How does it make you feel?
  31. Do you have a strong belief in your abilities or could you be holding yourself back?

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How to Manage your Anxiety

 

    Having anxiety is the most terrifying thing to go through, especially when you are alone. A lot of people don’t know how to cope or manage with the symptoms that comes with this mental health issue. Everyone either reacts the same or a little different with there anxiety but at the end of the day it’s still a disorder that anyone can get at any given time. There are so many ways to manage your anxiety. Here i listed a few tips that might can just help.

      Mindfulness:

       Figure out things that will keep your mind occupied. Be the things that keep you at ease. Focus on self-care and taking care of  YOU in all ways you can. Learn to take and do things more slowly, and try not to be such in a rush through your life too much. 

 

       Routine:

           Create a satisfying routine. Anxiety thrives a persistent worry and fear about your everyday lifestyle. I figured out that coming up with a helpful routine helps eliminate a lot of worry & thoughts. 

 

       Communicate:

  Do not be afraid to discuss your issues dealing with anxiety. A lot of people experience it more than what others think, and suffer from it on different levels. Find some one that will be able to help you justify this issue. Help break the problem so you can be able to help others.

 

        Practice Coping Skills:

Figure out ways you can cope with this mental health issues. What helps you from having episodes? Breathing techniques. Taking a walk. Meditation. Yoga. It’s so many things you can do. Figure it out, and stick to it because once you are able to cope with anxiety, then it will be easier for you to start living a more normal lifestyle, without being in fear on what’s going to happen.

 

        Weekly Schedule:

Try scheduling your week ahead of time. But, make sure you stick to it. Switching up will only makes things worse. When something is triggering you to have anxiety sometimes it can be because your nervous, anxious, worried, tired, and you are just confused and furious on what your week look like. So, on that note creating a schedule will help plan things out better for you.

4 STEPS TO CHANGING YOUR NEGATIVE MINDSET

Focusing on you, and looking for different ways to change your mindset isn’t complicated. We make our own choices, and have our own way of thinking. But sometimes the hard part is figuring out different reasons on why we have the mindset we have today and what can we do to fix that. That was me. I literally thought changing the way i think was going to be super easy, but it wasn’t. But the reason why it wasn’t easy is because i allowed it to be hard. I didn’t try hard enough, I didn’t do my research, I didn’t try to work on the most important issue i have within myself neither. So, once i realized it wasn’t working i stopped moving so fast and took my time out to figure out what was the real issue. Here is steps i did myself to help change my negative mindset.

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1. WHERE ARE MY FEELINGS COMING FROM?

This is the first thing you should be asking yourself; where are my feelings of negativity coming from?

Am I going through something?

Are there any changes going on in my life?

Am I keeping up with my health?

Am I taking care of myself?

It’s important to understand why you’re feeling the way you do. Sometimes, it does seem like these waves of negative emotions come out of nowhere, but there’s almost always a reason. It’s not always something that’s obvious; you might have to dig a little to find out what it really is.

More often than not, that uninvited negativity comes from a place of fear. Ask yourself: am I bringing my past fears into the present and future?

Fear can manifest itself in many different ways.

 

2. WHAT CAN I DO TO FIX THE WAY I AM FEELING

There is a lot of things you can do to change the way you are feeling. At times i really was confused, and didn’t really know why i had the feelings i was having. First thing first, you have to work on all the self-doubts. Having self-doubts is actually negative thinking. You have to have hope, you have to believe in yourself and know your worth. These are the things i do to fix all my feelings.

  • Write out the way i’m currently feeling (Journaling)
  • Meditate for 20 mins
  • Take 20 min brief walks
  • Practice mindfulness
  • Focus on trusting in myself

Those are the things i do to fix the way i am feeling. It works for me, especially writing. Writing helps relieve my pain, and release all the thoughts i currently had.

 

3. MOVING FORWARD

Move forward. Don’t take steps backs. Don’t let nothing hold you back from changing your life around. Sometimes you have to leave everything behind you and just find your way from there. Remember everything isn’t always permanent, sometimes somethings are only temporarily.

 

4. STAY CONNECTED WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE

Stay connected with positive people. I don’t about you, but i have no problem connecting with people that is uplifting, motivating, and inspiring. Sometimes when you are having a bad day, it’s good calling someone that will listen to you without no judging. Making an effort to stay connected to a few people or just to a couple, can give you the support you need to feel some temporary relief from negativity.

 

I just honestly feel when you are trying to change your life around, you have to be dedicated. Thinking negative and always focusing on the negative will not help you be positive at all.

You don’t want a negative mindset anymore? Change it! Just go for it. Life isn’t easy, and of course you can’t change over night, but sticking to your plan and knowing that you want to move forward, then do so. Can’t no one stop you from focusing on being a better & wiser you.

 

I hate anxiety: How to deal

Welp! The real truth is…I got diagnosed with anxiety in 2014.

I can’t even be in denial or lost why i have/had it, because i have had a pretty interesting life. I have been through a lot of tragic situations in my life, but i am not going to mention that today. Maybe ill save that for another day or my “book” 😩!

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Honestly, truth be told, I go through seasons anxiety, which is really annoying.

Because, one season i’m totally okay, and then the next season i’m just out of it lol. And my family just looks at me like i’m crazy.

Well today, for some odd reason everything just hit me. I woke up feeling off and not like myself. So i said to myself “yup! i’m depressed about something”. I’m the type of person that will be really confused when it comes to trying to find out why i’m depressed.

And i knew something wasn’t right because i was agitated, i wouldn’t play videos games with my 6 year old like i normally do, my stomach felt like it was cringing, and i didn’t even want to talk to no one.

So finally after feeling like crap. I went for a small walk. put my ear plugs in, and put on my play list.

Came home. Made some lemon & honey tea (which helped), wrote in my journal (which helped), breathing techniques, and did yoga for about 25 minutes also (which helped) once again. This helps. I don’t know why but it helps. I feel 100% better after words, and way more relieved. But, this is how i deal with anxiety.

Small steps make a total big difference…

It’s 1:36 am while i’m typing up this blog, but hey it feels good just being myself, feeling free, and showing my social friends how things been going on lately.

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“Anything that makes you smile, you should always keep it around so you can keep smiling. A simple smile will brighten up your day.”

 

     SIXTEEN PAGES (COMMUNITY): 3 TIPS & TRICKS FOR DEALING WITH ANXIETY:

β™₯ CREATE A SCHEDULE: TIME MANAGEMENT

Making a schedule is definitely one of my issues from time to time. I will go a month strong creating a schedule and then i’ll fall off. But, yes it’s important. When you create a schedule it helps with timing and to get things done in order so you don’t have to stress as much.

 

β™₯ JOUNALING

Write! Write! Write!.. Yes, writing in a journal is so worth it. If you don’t have no one to talk to or don’t want to talk to no one. Write it out. Express yourself through paper, so when you go back and read how you were feeling. You can figure out what you can do better to not make the mistakes, or figure out other ways how to prevent from certain things from happening again. Sometimes being free, and just writing out your thoughts can be like a medicine. It heals you, but in a different way.

 

β™₯ BE MORE ADVENTUROUS

Start spending more times out door. But, you have to actually do something. Find activities you haven’t done before. Like i been living in California all my life, and i have never been horse back riding, gun range, wineries, and so many other fun places my friends been to except me lol. Take time out for you. Go hiking, go walk trail, or just do something different. Being adventurous is really like a big weight lifted off your shoulders. Getting away for a few hours and actually spending time for yourself is the most healthiest feeling you can never forget.

 

With that being said, those are my anxiety tips i have for you guys for now. I hope that starting Monday i start my week off feeling & looking good! I just want to enjoy my Monday and start over with a positive mindset.

I hope this post helped anyone who’s out there reading who experiences anxious feelings. We have all been there. Stay strong. I get you. And i hope you get me as well. No one is perfect.

Feel free to leave me some tips if you have any on dealing with anxiety, or leave some questions in the comment, or just tell me your experience on coping.

I hope you all enjoyed my blog as much as i did! really appreciate it!

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How i grew to accept my problems and moved on

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Growing up figuring yourself out is amazing. I always told people i may have grew up with a parent that made sure our house hold was good and i was well took care of, but that can never change how you deeply feel inside within yourself. You can grow up rich and still be depressed, suffer from anxiety, emotional, ungrateful, rude, and i can go on. It feels good to be able to just open up freely and live in my truth now. I have no problem admitting to my flaws and sharing my past feelings from then and now…

A lot of people are Furious. Furious is something a lot of people will not admit to. There extremely angry, intense, and once you make them made they will began to start raging and going on rants. I know. That was me before. But see a lot of people wont admit to it because the world we live in, some people feel like they have to prove a point or be something there not. Some people have self-love issues but they lie to themselves and say they don’t because they are in denial.

It have been a time in life when i use to hide my true self. I didn’t want anyone to know me or even know how i truly felt. I never showed no signs of insecurities, no signs of depression. I have always been laid back and kept everything bottled in. Although i have been all what i listed, I do know that showing it would have made me look weak. And honestly when you show your weak side that’s how people take advantage of you.

I take being strong or at least showing my strong side very lightly. My last name is BATTLE, so it’s in my nature. My last name represents me as well, I have always been the type of girl/woman that will put up a fight and not give up. My mindset has always been to win no matter how I felt within myself. There is way too many cruel people and bullies in our world so I would always stand tall, and stood my grounds with no hesitation.

Life isn’t easy at all, sometimes we have to experience certain situations in life and use it as a lesson learned, or a reason why you are strong today. I been through the worst, I been judged, talked about, treated badly, and I can add more to the list. But my message with this article is to let you all know that it’s okay to live in your truth and to find yourself. Focus on what you need to change & fix it. First you have to figure out how can you go about fixing your problem first. Then from there everything will fall through. You can do it if i can!

 

Need any advice or have any questions feel free to go to (Ask Me) :).

 

 

 

Three ways how to rock your goals the rest of 2019

Every year will brings changes, challenges, opportunities, growth. But sometimes, some of us get discouraged and lose out. It was a time in my life where i felt that i will never succeed, and although i might not have told no one how i felt, it use to stop me from achieving my goals. But, eventually you will grow out of that stage and not let that stop you from creating your future. That’s what i did. I got tired of always talking down on myself and not understanding “life”, because when you don’t have a understanding on what’s going on you will never move on.

1. WHAT IS IT THAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK?

No really, what is holding you back? Figure out what’s holding you back and what’s stopping you from moving forward. You can’t achieve anything still dwelling on the past or what’s currently bothering you. Figure out how to let anything negative or stressful in your life. The problem is that “we live in the past” and of course we refuse to move on. We hold on to the past constantly, and fail to take responsibility for our own lives. But, truth be told we are “all messed up in a way”. Everything can’t be picture perfect and everything can’t go how you want it to be, but how can we succeed without putting in no effort?

We should not let our past stop us from creating the future we always dreamed to have. There are many things you might find yourself feeling guilty about but that don’t mean you feel sorry for yourself, just keep going. The past is the past, and your future starts now.

 

 

2. NO MORE EXCUSES

One thing i can say is that everyone including myself have made excuses. We have to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and also stop trying to figure out why is certain things aren’t going the way we want it to. The only way you will deal with circumstances is if you allow your present to enter into your future, for an example you might not have enough (money, help, or no resources), but you can’t let that be the defining problem. Everything you believe yourself to be is a whole combo of what you’ve been through, things like the way you grew up in your home, or what your family taught you. The way people have treated you, or the things you experienced around you while growing up.

Truth be told, you are strong, because you made it here today. No matter how unfair you feel how your life has been, it was the past. Don’t let how far you have come today stop you from going to where you want to be now. Throw those excuses in the trash, let go of the negative thoughts and chase after what you want, even if you have to take baby steps. If you think about it that is how you are preparing for your future. Small changes can make a big difference. I always been taught to discipline myself. Why? Because discipline is strict. That means you are focused, and you aren’t letting nothing or no body get in the way. It’s all about making a change in your day to day habits & choices. The willingness in changing your old habits to new & better ones is by being consistent.

3. FORGIVING YOURSELF

One problem i had growing up was that i never forgave myself & certain people. I had it bad holding grudges, and not letting go. First off, you have to forgive yourself first. And i did so. You can’t live in the past, because if you do, then you will never accomplish anything. We have to start practicing on self-care, and loving ourselves more, because once you love yourself that means nothing in the past will never even exist in your future. We are unwilling to forgive ourselves, but why? Because we get or get put in certain situations and hate ourselves for it. Sometimes just being human we think everything suppose to be perfect, but everything can’t be picture perfect, and sometimes being a perfectionist will not allow us to understand how it feels to grow from certain situations. For an example, say if 4 years ago you never got lucky with a job because you were being picky so now you beat ourselves up about it, hit rock bottom, and lost all you had, then today you have a $20/hr job, got everything you always wanted, and live in a condo. That feeling of success feels amazing! You can’t keep putting yourself down because the choices you make or made, you have to move on from it, look past it, and keep going.

 

LET ME TELL YOU THIS: YOU WILL FAIL “At some point”

But, you will fail to get up and try again, and again until you make it to your destination in life. Sometimes we are wiser than we think, it’s just sometimes we just lose hope, but starting today DON’T. You have the ability to make your own choices, and to erase any thoughts you are having by forgiving yourself and not letting your past affect you in today’s life.

 

 

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5 Natural Ways to eliminate brain fog

A lot of times i have had pretty bad brain fog. Thank god that i have already been through this issue before. It’s really annoying at times, especially when it’s in the way of you making your cost of living. If you go through this issue, I have a few tricks & tips to declutter your brain and get you back up & going.

Brain fog usually happens when you have a lot on your plate/mind and you thinking about it consistently. You either have to much work you have to get done, a lot of information you have to process, or just a lot of things that’s going on in your life all at once, so you just don’t feel quite right.

One of the top symptoms of brain fog is random memory loss. Not saying you don’t remember nothing at all, but sometimes we remember things that are not important, but forget about the things that are important. This usually happens when i go run errands. I will come home and realize i didn’t get anything done that I actually planned, so the whole purpose of me running errands was kind of pointless in a way. I’m sure it’s others who relate.

Sadly, brain fog can last for days, weeks, or even months. But, there is a lot of ways you can get your thoughts organized, back on track, and get rid of the fog.

 

TO DO LIST

If you are naturally a forgetful person i recommend a to do list. Truth be told in the past i thought to do list were super corny and not my cup of tea. But man i can tell you they most definitely come in handy. To do list will lead to a more clearer mind and help you be more productive. A clear mind will definitely help you accomplish more and with prioritizing.

Create your to do list and start marking down each task one at a time, as you take care of each task. Stop focusing on the needs, and focus on what’s listed in order. At the end of this blog, sign up to receive a free CHECK LIST to your email :).

JOURNAL

By far if you read my blogs, this is definitely my favorite, and i will always remind my readers to do this. Start writing in a journal. Journaling is powerful and a free stress relief. It’s a strong way to get all your thoughts down in one place without over thinking. By writing down all your thoughts you are definitely clearing out your mind. Journaling will clear your mind out on a daily basis. You can always take at least 20 – 30 mins writing, it won’t hurt. I prefer to write before bed because it help me sleep better, I always wake up worry less and refreshed, which is a good start for the new day.

BRAIN DUMP

Brain dump is similar to jounaling, but just a little different. Brain dump is basically writing down all your thoughts when it comes to important things you need to take care of. For an example: You can be thinking in your head about going to the court building to get a birth certificate since you lost yours, and it’s always at the tip of your brain but you tend to forget. Then you repeatedly think about it over & over again and still for get. After you dump out all your thoughts, important info, and task on your list on a piece of paper or sticky note, then you can organize them to your to do list or task lists or calendar.

CLEAN UP

Cleaning is another way to a clear mind. Literally when i am cleaning up, I pop my ear phones in my ear, and I just get to cleaning with out no worries. I admit, when i have loads of things to take care of, that’s when i tend to get distracted by everything like not cleaning up like i said i was going to do 4 hours prior. So now, the first thing i do when i wake up is clean up my house. As a mom, from working part time at home and having a daily job, a clean house goes a long way into keeping me on track and keeping fog away from my brain often.

WALK IT OUT

Take 30 mins out your day to take a walk, or take a walk when you feel all cluttered up in the head. A simple walk wouldn’t hurt, and walking is another way to keep you healthy mentally & physically. When i feel like i have so much pressure, and my brain feels clogged, I go take a walk in get some fresh air. It definitely helps me clear my head more. Sometimes i enjoy going with one person so we can have a little positive chat, that also helps as well. But, definitely take time out the day for a quick walk.

 

Dealing with brain fog is common. It can happen to everyone, especially for those who are consistently busy. To avoid brain fog all & all, stay on track and organized as possible. Keeping everything in order is the #1 step to a clutter free mind. I hope these tips helped you out and were detailed enough!

 

 

 

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Spending more time out doors can help relieve stress: FACTS

Being out doors definitely can relieve stress. Some people actually like being boxed up in the house but technically that can increase your mental health symptoms. If you know me you definitely know I love taking walks. I love nature, I love seeing all the greenery & butterflies flying around. Nature is free, so there shouldn’t be no reason why you shouldn’t take time out your day from being a couch potato or in your bed and get some fresh air.

Nature also can help you Function better mentally in a healthier way. Sometimes we have to stop our regular things we do to relieve stress like, playing video games, smoking, drinking, and things like that. If your a book reader, take a book, a little blanket and go to the park and read. Go to the beach and sun bathed get some of that good ole vitamin d, or even just go outside to smell the beautiful flowers. If you notice, most travelers are excited most of the time. Travelers always energized, ready to site see, and always ready to discover other parts of nature they have never been before.

 

Don’t be afraid to step out your comfort zone to try new things, be free & have no worries”

Out door physical activities can help. There is so many physical activities you can do in our environment. Yoga β€’jogging β€’dance β€’martial arts β€’painting and much more. Sometimes the smallest things can actually help us mentally & physically, we just haven’t figured it out or even thought of other ways to help reduce our stress level. I’m not saying you have to be out doors for us but at least take 15-20 mins out your day. But when you go outside to get some peace, make sure it’s just that. I’m not talking about going to get food, or ice cream, or just errands. I’m talking about actually using out doors as an relief, to get peace, to vibe by your lonesome & hear your thoughts.

I hope this explains how out doors can relieve stress good enough for you. I used every single details listed and it helped me in so many ways. I definitely can say I am more calm, and I stress way less about things I can fix. Of course we need to think about our health, but our mental health is just as important. Take care of yourself and focus on you & your happiness. Don’t be afraid to refresh your mind, body, & soul.

 

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How to support your own mental health

A lot of people, even myself seek help for mental health. Which is very understandable because we all need that ear, or someone to understand us. But when i realized that i didn’t have that support like i thought i did. I had to support my own issues to keep me going. Remember if NO one support you, then who will? So on that note all you have is yourself. I feel it’s always important to share a few tips/hacks on how we as a society can deal better with mental health in our homes or in our lives in general. There is millions of people who suffer from mental health, and always run to google for answers, support, & tips, just like i have at a point in my life. When you heal it’s okay to help heal others. Remember that. Here are 3 main tips to help you support your own mental health.


#1: PROVIDE A SAFE PLACE FOR YOURSELF

I think this is very important. You have to be somewhere comfortable and be around people who make you feel safe. Try to open up and be honest about your mental health, because beating yourself up about isn’t going to help you. Don’t be in denial or afraid to live in your truth. Make sure your home doesn’t add more to the problem. For an example: You can start setting up creative stuff in your home like, paintings, positive messages you can tell yourself that you written down on sticky notes, changing your home around, getting rid of old memories, & so much more. Make sure when you walk in your home, that the energy brings you nothing but happiness,

 

 

 

#2: TAKE A SMALL 2-3 DAY BREAK

Yes take time out to find yourself. Try to target the real problem/issue on what’s bothering you. Sometimes we don’t take breaks as we should, but it is important. Even if it’s only for 1 day. Your happiness is the key, and being depressed will only put you in a place that will kind of lock you in and it be hard to get out. Life is full of challenges but you have to learn how to fight through it MENTALLY. Work on stability & physical emotions. (How do you respond when you are emotional? Do you throw tantrums? Do you stay closed in?) A break to just refresh your mind, heal your pain, and turn negative thinking to positive thinking can really help. While your on break, ask your self questions like the ones listed above then start answering them. After that, figure out how can you fix the problem. Don’t over work your ability to be who you always dreamed to be by losing out because of your mental health, it’s time to heal it, and be a voice to help others heal theres.

 

 

 

#3: PRACTICE ON SELF-CARE

SELF-CARE is so important. Sometimes we tend to put others before us, and love people more than we love ourselves. But you never suppose to put no one before you, you have to love yourself first before you love anyone else. You are what matters. It might seems or sound selfish but it definitely isn’t. Work on finding things that make you feel good, make you happy, make you feel motivated. Like for an example: Blogging, journaling, & going for walks is part of my self-care routine. It makes me feel good and complete. You just have to figure it out. Here is a link for some self-care tips for you, just click it πŸ‘‰πŸ½. https://theonlyseqouiab.com/2019/01/16/38-ways-to-practice-self-care/

5 Tips to heal your depression

Hey to all my blog buddies, new blog buddies, and new readers. I have had a hard time with battling depression/anxiety for a while now. And i definitely know that i am not alone when it comes to mental health. It’s so many other people that suffer from anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and it’s sad that a lot of us don’t get recognition as we should. I blog about my anxiety, but not as much as i should, because the simple fact i figured out how to cope with it better. My cope is blogging, mind exercises, self-care, and so much more. I turned my blog into a full lifestyle blog, so i can be more open to connect with others, and just tell it like it is. Now i feel that i need to continuously discuss mental health topics more, because i touch so many people that suffered like me, and not only that i get personal emails from people who actually open up to me about there mental health and want tips on what i do to keep me strong. So, lets get to it, I have 5 tips that can help heal your depression. 

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#1 MAKE LIFE CHANGES:

First thing first, make life changes. I am not going to act as if i’m so perfect and i made so many changes in my life, but i can say i made enough changes that gained me enough faith to make it through out the day without being depressed. Change your health, If you didn’t know, eating unhealthy 24/7 isn’t good. Bad foods increase your stress level, mood swings, and also mess with your weight. We all know excessive weight gain & weight-loss also can put you through an depression. Now i am going to be honest with you, if you aren’t the healthiest like myself, at least take baby steps. I am not the healthiest, but i am working on it, which makes it even better that i am dominant & consistent with trying. Work out. If you aren’t into doing strict work outs, like lifting weights, hiking, or riding a bike. You can actually take a walk for 30 minutes a day. If you don’t want to walk, get on the treadmill for 30 minutes and walk 2.0 mph.

 

#2 HAVE FAITH

A lot of people who suffer from depression, do not have faith in themselves. That is a (true fact). We tend to fear in the society we live in, and not believe that we can succeed in life. That comes with being scared of failure. When you are depressed, you can’t take failure quite frankly. But, what we don’t realize, is that failure comes with life. We are going to fail at some point, and the only thing we can do is keep going. When you are always worried, then it’s hard to accept the fact we didn’t get our way with certain things or situations. You have to learn how to accept failure, and have faith that the next time or the time after that everything will fall into place.

 

#3 BE OPEN TO NEW OPPORTUNITIES/IDEAS

I know when you are depressed it’s hard to move on to the next chapter in your life because we are always so stuck into the past and what’s current in our life. Sometimes you have to skip to the next chapter and move on to better things. In ordinary to even move forward in life, we have to be open to new things that are coming our way. it is way to much of us with talent, well-educated, & really wised. We tend to forget that though. Well guess what? DON’T. Don’t be afraid to move forward. Don’t lose out on what can be your next big deal, or your next big job that pays the price you always desired. Don’t be afraid to approach others that are in a much higher stage than you, they might be the next help to your solution or dream. Also being open to new ideas can help you stay focus on other things besides the problems you have behind closed doors.

 

#4 CUT OFF TIME Ο‡

It’s definitely time to refresh your life, meaning to let go of  bad spirits & toxic souls that are around you. In this era so many negative people bring negativity in your life that you begin to be negative to. NOT GOOD! Stop being afraid to let go of certain people that is no good. Not blaming others, because we do have a choice to choose how we are, but just by having someone who is just as negative or worst, can just make sh*t even more toxic. Did you know two toxic people or multiple toxic people together makes your life so much complicated. Drama, messy bs, he say/she say, lies, fighting, and so much other irrelevant non-sense. Who wants to keep dealing with that? NOT ME! and you shouldn’t neither.

You have to be authentic with yourself and know that misery loves company, so the more you entertain people bullsh*t, you will continue to be in something that isn’t even benefiting your life. Don’t be easily manipulated by others. Some people are naturally evil, and you have to understand that it is nothing you can do to change people. So what do you do about that? CUT THEM OFF!

 

#5 SEEK MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING/HELP & STOP BLAMING OTHERS

Some people are so stuck in there a** that they don’t believe in seeking help. Accept the fact you have a PROBLEM. I DID. YOU CAN TO! Being in denial because you don’t want to look crazy or care about what other people think, will not help you get better at all. You will continue to keep living a lie. Stop living to please others, and live to please you. Self-care is important. So take care of your mental, your body, your soul. Seeking a COUNSELOR works. It’s better talking to someone, who completely knows nothing about you, and will tell you like it is 100%.

Lets be real. Think about it. How many times have you had episodes, because someone “made you mad” or that person or people “sound dumb”, so you just completely went off and throw super massive temper tantrums. If you are the one always “going off and have super bad temperament issues”, i’m sorry you are the PROBLEM. Not 10 people are all just dumb, and you are the brilliant one here, but the main aggressive one that is cussing everyone out.

I had to learn the hard way. I thought about my actions, and really sat in watch certain ways how i react to certain situations. I don’t much throw temper tantrums, but i admit that i have flaws that i definitely needed to work on and still do. I have more problems (Internal then out). I have had debates & arguments no need to front, but not with so many people because i stay to myself a lot. I’m not innocent one bit. I am pretty much open to be honest about my lifestyle.

I can actually open up and admit to the world, I have seek counseling, and also do my own therapy now. I still have some work to do, but the best thing is that i took the initiative to work on myself. I put me FIRST. When you know deep down you have a problem, sometimes you can’t get rid of that problem on your own. It’s okay to admit to it. But, you have to stop living a lie, and live in your truth. You know sometimes is wrong every time you burst out into tears, or you have black outs. You just like to blame others for that problem. People aren’t going to change for you, no matter what you dislike about them, and honestly you have to really sit in think (Who am i to tell someone about themselves), as humans we tend to forget that we have issues we need to work out before judging the next person on the side of us. So you have to understand and realize that no one can’t really make you lash out but yourself. GET HELP. Take your mental health serious, because a lot of people don’t and sometimes situations turn out to a bad outcome. Life is precious, take it serious and be honest with your issues and willing to change them.

 

I hope that these tips are helpful, if they are shoot me an email or DM me on my social media, Lets chat about it! Life is tough & sometimes we need an extra ear to hear us out! 

 

Make sure you check out my other blogs, and my other tabs on my site! Happy Mother’s Day and ill be back with another blog soon!

7 HABITS THAT WILL THROW OFF YOUR PRODUCTIVITY

So many distractions, so many plans… so many goals to complete… in not much time!

I’m sorry but doesn’t it seem like every time you try to focus on getting things done, you begin to feel less unproductive. Try creating a schedule or a to do list. I am more of a scheduler type of girl, and i swear to you that i spend more of my time writing it out then actually doing what i planned to do. Or i end up doing something else important that i instantly get distracted and next thing you know it i am on my phone doing something totally different like browsing the internet looking at shoes & clothes.

The main point is that productivity has always been something you have to level up in, and a work-in-progress, it’s an life experience we all go through. Things happen, things  change, but we have to work around all that stress to stay productive. #1 FACT: Trashing all habits that kill your productivity.

 

 

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1. TECHNOLOGY DISTRACTION

Of course you would think it’s meant to make our lives more productive and more simple, but for the most part, it is the total opposite. Consistently checking your email, checking your social media before & after a nap, every time your phone notification goes off you pick up your phone fast, or when someone is talking to you but your face in stuck in your phone and not the conversation. That is a distraction, a major one. Those are some things that will kill off your productivity and any digital advice is definitely the blame. Digital devices distractions breaks the flow of your productivity. Your brain has to focus on what is important, or else you will lose out on a lot more thank you think.

 

2. LACK OF SLEEP 

Do you have times when you feel like there isn’t enough hours in the day? Yup definitely. There always seems to be something else you planned on getting done before night time gets here. Some days we even stay up almost until the next day or just go to sleep extremely late just to do something else. Other times we have a hard time shutting our eyes the first couple hours because now our mind just want let us with all the anxious thoughts we are having. Thinking about all the task we didn’t do but we could have did. So we tell our selves, “Okay we will do it tomorrow”, but then we think about how tired we will be because we are still up in the middle of the night now.

Not getting enough sleep can affect your memory, performance, health, and your ability to concentrate. Also lack of sleep makes it hard to make decisions. If this is something you struggle with, work on developing better habits for bedtime. I definitely had to. Try making a schedule for bed time, and find out what can actually help you sleep better (Naturally).

 

 

3. LACK OF ROUTINE

Planning productive habits and actually sticking to a routine helped me out in improving my productivity. Now that i am back in fitness. I get up 7:30, take my daughter to school. Come home, make breakfast + pot of coffee. Go work out from 11:30 am – 12:15 pm. Then after all that i come home, clean, and figure out what i am going to cook for the day. After all that, I spend the rest of my day working on my blog. I fell off when it comes to productivity and having a routine. I also began to stress a lot, so now that i am back at it with my routine i have listed above, I haven’t let my stress stop me from taking care of myself.

 

 

My productivity depended on those daily habits. This routine is what kept me on the right path, and motivates me to keep moving forward no matter what is going on in my life. Now that i took a big jump back & created a new routine for myself, my productivity has improved so much. Having a customized routine added to your schedule keeps you focused on the way you move daily. Your life doesn’t have be boring, or difficult just stay more organized.

 

 

4. TECHNOLOGY DISTRACTION

Of course you would think it’s meant to make our lives more productive and more simple, but for the most part, it is the total opposite. Consistently checking your email, checking your social media before & after a nap, every time your phone notification goes off you pick up your phone fast, or when someone is talking to you but your face in stuck in your phone and not the conversation. That is a distraction, a major one. Those are some things that will kill off your productivity and any digital advice is definitely the blame. Digital devices distractions breaks the flow of your productivity. Your brain has to focus on what is important, or else you will lose out on a lot more thank you think.

 

 

5. PERFECTIONIST

If you struggle with being a perfectionist chances are that you also have that β€œI don’t care ” attitude. It’s when you’re never happy with pretty much anything that comes your way, everything you do has to be done absolutely perfectly or else you will have a fit. There’s also a lot of fear of failure and anxiety involved, but a perfectionist hides it due to caring about what others think. All of this combined can affect your productivity in a big way, no in a EXTREME WAY. The major key is to really focus on your goals and tasks, rather than that fear of making a mistake, because mistakes are going to happen in and out your life. I feel that being a perfectionist is hard to come by, or just a mind thing. but you can start by changing your perspective, the way you think, and realizing just how often you use it as an excuse to not complete your daily goals & task.

 

 

6. LACK OF STRESS MANAGEMENT

Stressful situations can throw you off track. When your mind is clogged up with anxiety, worry, and fear, your productivity falls off. It’s important to know how to manage your stress, and deal with it in a much healthier way. Meditation, yoga, writing/journaling, and just taking care of yourself like you should. Figure out how to cope with repeatedly stress issues.

 

 

7. LACK OF DISCIPLINE + FAILURE TO ARRANGE

When it comes down to it, lack of discipline is one of the main habits that throw your productivity off. There will be plenty of days when you won’t feel like getting things done, days when working on something that’s important to you is the last thing you feel like doing. Motivation comes and goes in and out our lives, and you can’t rely on it to always be there, because trust me it’s not. When you lose motivation you sometimes also lose your willing power to be productive. Focus on building habits that will help you become more self-disciplined and learning to arrange your tasks is one of them. Use your willing power to create more habits that will improve your productivity, rather than depending on motivation all the time.

 

 

Try out my 5 pack planner, calendar, & orgnanizer+extras to help keep you organized, create a schedule, and brainstorm. It literally helps me get through the day and keep me productive. I’m more than sure it will help you as well. This is a digital download (PDF) form. Heres the link just click it: CLICK FOR PLANNER.

XoXo -Seqouiab